Run for your lives! It's 'tractor terror!'

Deep in the recesses of our collective human unconscious, the idea was there. But even the stoutest human soul trembled and fled at the merest suggestion that it might one day prove to be true.

You know of what I speak.

The ancient Babylonians knew it as Tiamat

The Greeks called it the Gorgon

To the Scandanavians it was the Kraken

But for humans unfortunate enough to live  on planet earth at the dawn of 21st century the unspeakable horror is that which forms part of farming ‘gore-lore’ the world over.

Yes, I’m talking about…

“al-Qaeda on a modified tractor!!!”

Courtesy of the treasure trove of ‘stuff’ that was, we are told, retrieved from ‘the compound’, we now know just how close we came to a living nightmare.

Osama bin Laden angrily vetoed a plot to fit rotating blades to a tractor and use it to “mow down the enemies of Allah”, on the grounds that it would cause “indiscriminate slaughter”, according to a US official familiar with material seized in the raid on the al-Qaida chief’s hideout.

The hoard of documents and computer discs taken by US special forces consisted more of “strategic musings” than concrete terror plots, the official told ProPublica, the US non-profitmaking investigative news organisation.

Though a fierce advocate of mass-casualty attacks in the west – elsewhere, Bin Laden attempts to calculate the number of Americans who would have to be killed to force the US to withdraw from the Arab world – he appeared angry at a suggestion by the Yemen-based al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula that a tractor or farm vehicle could, suitably adapted, be used in an attack.

The official told ProPublica: “Bin Laden said this is something he did not endorse. He seems taken aback. He complains that this tactical proposal promotes indiscriminate slaughter. He says he rejects this and it is not something that reflects what al-Qaida does.”

I’m kind of torn here. Do I dismiss this as more of the CIA’s laughable ‘strategic musings’ about how to fabricate a reality around the  ‘war on terror’? Or do I use it to highlight the fact that it contradicts the narrative that has been woven around Osama bin Laden? If bin Laden was the 9/11 mastermind, how can he now claim that ‘indiscriminate slaughter’ is “not something that reflects what al-Qaida does”?

What is the CIA trying to do by simultaneously portraying ‘al-Qaeda’ as wild-eyed tractor terrorists and bin Laden as a voice of reason and even compassion? Is this an attempt to convince any militant Muslims that indiscriminate slaughter is not the way to go because bin Laden says so, while at the same time maintaining the image for the folks back home of Muslims as nut-jobs on a death-dealing tractor?

Then again, given that the only ‘terror’ attack that ever came close to employing a tractor was the July 2008 ‘bulldozer rampage’ in Jerusalem, perhaps we are seeing the fingerprints of the Israeli Mossad here?

And what are we to make of the claim that a large stash of pornography was found in the compound? Speaking of pornography, apparently some members of congress are actually making appointments to go and ogle the alleged photos of bin Laden held in a super-secret vault (possibly underwater) at CIA HQ. Then again, Congress (and all three branches of the US government for that matter) always did have a penchant for ‘death porn’. See the invasion of Iraq for evidence.

I have to admit though that it’s all a bit nonsensical and suggests that the CIA hadn’t really planned for what would come after the orchestrated ‘death’ of their most important bogeyman. So they’re just making it up as they go along, as noted by Roderick T Long, a professor of philosophy at Auburn University, Alabama:

“I have no problem believing that Bin Laden was a hypocrite. But I also have no problem believing that the US government is a liar. Hence I have no opinion one way or other as to the existence of Bin Laden’s alleged porn collection.”

Meanwhile, according to Iranian Intelligence Minister Heydar Moslehi:

“We have credible information that Bin Laden died some time ago of a disease. If the US military and intelligence apparatus have really arrested or killed Bin Laden, why don’t they show him [his body]? Why have they thrown his corpse into the sea? We believe that what the US is seeking, by dictated media programs, to overshadow the recent awakening in the region through the release of such reports.”

And just in case you had any doubts about the complicity of the mainstream media in the entire bogus ‘terrorism’ hype that has been ongoing these past 15 years or so; remember the day after ‘bin laden’ was ‘killed’ and the British press carried the story about the five brown-skinned men (Asians actually) arrested for potentially scoping out the Sellafied nuclear plant? It turns out they were just driving past it and took a few pictures. Criminal masterminds indeed.

One Thought on “Not That! Dear God, Anything But THAT!

  1. Laura on May 15, 2011 at 18:56 said:

    Do you suppose Al Qaeda was into making music with that tractor? See:

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